My husband is horrible about remembering, birthdays, holidays, anniversaries. I know this can be used as an excuse and I don’t want to say I’ve given up, but I understand these things are not important to him, so I deal with it. This being said, we have NEVER celebrated a Valentine’s Day. Not while dating, not while married. We have been together a total of eleven years. ELEVEN Y-E-A-R-S. And this is just a fact of my life.
It used to bother me. I would wait and hope he would remember. Disappointment. I would remind him and hope things would change. Disappointment. I would get really hurt by it, every year. I would cry and think he didn’t value me. I would tell him this and he didn’t get it. He told me wanting gifts is superficial. Finally, I took the Love Languages Test. My top two love languages are: Acts of Service and Gifts. I had my husband take the Love Languages Test. His top two love languages: Acts of Service and Words of Affirmation. He didn’t even score on the gifts. He got a 0. Instead of me being disappointed a few times a year, I told him he doesn’t have to buy me gifts anymore. I will get my own gifts. I actually prefer it. Instead of him buying me another pair of panties or workout gear – I can probably wear a different pair of panties every day for three months and not do laundry – I will buy something I actually want. Will my husband every surprise me with a nice purse or jewelry? No. Will I ever be surprised with a car? Not a chance. But at least I know this.
I just got a little depressed writing that… I guess it still bothers me. BUT I have the most fabulous, thoughtful friends and they make up for it. Maybe I can describe the perfect Valentine’s Day, or ideas that would make my heart happy. And actually, it wouldn’t have to be on Valentine’s Day, I actually think Valentine’s Day is stupid. It could be on either my birthday or anniversary. I think writing a heart-felt letter about how much you care, appreciate and love someone is the best gift ever.
I hope I didn’t depress the ish out of everyone…